Thursday, April 26, 2012

A change is needed...


I have been a Crossfit coach now for over 4 years.  In these last 4 years I have tried many different “diets” with little success.  Is it the diets fault?  No! All of the different eating methods that I have tried work, they just didnt work for me.  I mean I would eat “good” most of the time but then I would allow a little cheat here and there.  There is a local coffee shop that sells gourmet chocolates and they have chocolate covered graham crack....ers.  They are so addicting.  I would stop by and buy one or two or 4, whatever the craving called for.  I had no control....ADDICT!!!  How is that any different then the guy down the street going and buying a pack of cigarettes every day?  Easy answer is, my addiction kills more people.  Was I really following a proper eating plan when I was committing this kind of offense?  Looking back on my behaviour during this time and even more recently it has become more clear to me what the problem is, and it is not just a simple one thing.  I am addicted to food.  Better yet, I am addicted to carbs. I catch myself wanting sugary cakes and cookies or one of the hardest things for me to pass up is doughnuts.  Comfort food.  I know that I am weakest at stressful times and that is when I eat.  Comfort eater.   I tell myself that I can beat this addiction, and I still believe that I can but it is hard and there is more that I had to realize.  I have found my identity in being big,  235lbs at 6’1” is not a little guy.  I enjoy, to some extent the recognition of being a big guy that can move well.  People dont expect it from someone my size.  Most people out there my size cannot do things that I can but If I was to truly tighten up my food and eat exactly like I should, I know that I would drop down to around 215-220, maybe even a little less, and then I would look like I could do all that cool stuff.  No more surprise.  I am scared to change who I am, scared to change my identity so I sabotage myself to keep me comfortably uncomfortable, to  Keep myself right where I am and not have to eat 100% all the time. Change is scary and  A change is exactly what I need.  It will not be easy, it will not be smooth.  It will be a bumpy road, and my life and my families life will be better because of it.  As May 1st quickly approaches I set out a challenge not just to those of you reading this but to myself as well.  It is time for a change.  I will be 31 in May. The challenge does not stop after my b-day, it will continue on until I reach my goal of 12% BF.   I will, from here till then, refrain from making poor food choices.  I will find my Identity in my God and my family, and by the end of the summer I will do a WOD with my shirt off.   These are some of my goals... What are yours?

I will share updates on a regular basis and try to update it on Facebook as well.  Will post before pics in the next couple of days.